Sunday, 7 December 2014

ManBuyCow - LIVE!

The majority of you that follow me on Twitter or are friends with me on Facebook will have seen an increase in the rate of posts involving ManBuyCow and have either ignored them or have been curious about what ManBuyCow means but have been too shy to ask. Well read on.

Tom Baker Doctor Who
I got introduced to their podcast just over a year ago and was instantly hooked. Rufus and Howard bring us a mixture of chat, sketches and characters all making their mad little world come to life. They have done two series now, with a third on the way, with the Grett Binchleaf portion of the show becoming a podcast in its own right. When they announced that they would be performing a full length show I snapped up my ticket quickly.

So I headed to Kentish Town and I met up with Dom and his lovely wife Verity at The Rose and Crown around 630 just as they had polished off a very well reviewed pizza. Verity was there as part of a marital deal which involves Dom having to go to Lord Of The Dance, so she is one up. We headed downstairs where we were met by Dennis Quaid*, harangued abot our names and frisked. We aimed towards the front but as Verity was a little shy we sat in the second front row. This was to know avail as Quaid* strongly suggested we sit at the front.

Soon a newer longer version of the familiar theme music began and we were off. Our small but dedicated band of comedy nerds were getting all excited and at the point of no return. Rufus and Howard arrived and soon pronounced that Dom was their "Beryl" for the night. Tom Baker Doctor Who was soon up. Nomedy Closh was forever delayed for various reasons (being on the underground and up a tree), and we wondered if he would ever arrive.

There were guests too. The self-described geeky comic, Pete Dillon-Trenchard, the easy to love Joz
Norris and towards the end of the show, Bec Hill (ably assisted by Beryl). Of course Nomedy Closh did arrive and sang a song accompanied by Doggity Dog. Even Mr Fluck managed to sneak in an appearance when Rufus wasn't
looking, and the Grett Binchleaf choose your own adventure book "Grett Binchleaf and the case of the missing leg" was fantastic, even though Grett died far more times than expected.

The end of the show involved the ManBuyCow fans favourite, Hitler^, and the "Everybody Loves Hitler, Hitler Is Our Friend" mass singalong was apparently heard in the main pub upstairs, which without context could sound a little bit naughty.

What a great night, and here's hoping that this becomes an annual pre-Christmas event.

So the moral of the story is a simple one. Listen to ManBuyCow. Now.

* Not the real Dennis Quaid
^ Not the real Hitler.

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Andrew O'Neill's History Of Heavy Metal aka "SIT DOWN LARS"

(c) Sophie Garrett -
Back in the days when I had a band, The Garage was home from home. I hadn't been for years until I went to ARGComFest in the summer and was all set to make another trip after such a short gap.

I met Neal at the pub over the road where he had been joined by a random woman who was going to another comedy show, and after a lot of detective work we worked out that it was at the Hen and Chickens round the corner. She was nice, but rather loopy. Anyway, we had a beer and headed to the venue, where luckily we didn't need to queue up. We walked straight in and found the room extremely busy already. I made the right decision of getting the first round in, which didn't take too long compared with Neal's round in the interval!

It was definitely more of a metal than a comedy crowd, and we were initially horrified at it being an all standing gig. We are very old. However I think it definitely gave it a much more rock'n'roll vibe, and of course meant they could probably fit everyone in, because before the gig started, the room was packed to the rafters.

This was the first time Andrew had done this show with a live band (the guitarist, bassist and drummer from Reprisal). They took to the stage first and were eventually followed by Andrew, striding on to the stage with his flying V ready for action.

(c) Sophie Garrett -
The gig was fantastic, starting out with the most famous metal riff of all, from the opening song, "Black Sabbath",  from the Black
Sabbath album by Black Sabbath, running through classic riffs from Motorhead to Slayer and Metallica. The show took the form of a history lesson, starting back in the proto-metal bands such as The Kinks, Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin, through Sabbath, on to Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Venom, then on to Metallica and the big four of thrash and on towards death and black metal, punctuated with riffs and short versions of classic songs, mainly with altered lyrics. The vocals could have been louder as I missed a few of the gags during the songs.

Andrew joked about Sabbath's rhyming structures, Rob Halford hiding in plain sight before he came out, Slayer opening their classic album with the word "Auschwitz", Dave Mustaine's vocal style and of course, Lars Ulrich constantly standing up. The crowd were noisy, but fun, and only once did Andrew have to tell someone to use their ears more than their mouth.

I didn't stay for the Reprisal set after the show (my back was killing me. I am old.) but left satisfied that I had seen the best show of 2014 so far. This is a show that needs to be filmed and put out on DVD (or that new fangled Blu-ray) as it could easily reach a much bigger audience.

Andrew will be doing more of these so keep an eye out. And don't worry if you're not a heavy metal fan. It doesn't matter. It helps, but it doesn't matter. It's a brilliant night out! And remember, what do we shout next time Metallica's drummer stands up behind his kit?


This gig was dedicated to Jeff Hanneman 1964-2013

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

ARGComFest 2014

ARG has quickly become one of my favourite weekends of the year and I had been looking forward to this day for a long time. (You can read my blurb about ARG 2012 and ARG 2013 by clicking the links) I had spent quite sometime looking at the schedules and had quite a bit of difficulty in deciding what to see. Eventually I came up with a definitive list (subject to change on a whim) and off I went.


I started the day in Wetherspoons with one of their cheap and crappy breakfasts along with one of their cheap and surprisingly nice lattes before heading to the queue to get my wristband strapped on.

In the queue I met Sarah and Neal and we were soon joined by Twon (who had to leave pretty early cos the poor lamb was suffering with some sort of lurgy. He did promise to be there on Sunday though.). Eventually the queue started moving and I saw my first comedy moment of the day. A woman approaching the queue to see what was going on, then getting her heel stuck in the pavement and doing a lovely little dance. It was hard to stop myself laughing and I didn't. She was nice though.

We were near the front of the queue so I headed to the bar and got served quickly. I turned round after hearing my name and it was Dom, a reasonably new Twitter friend who had trekked down from Hull. He had brought his friend Michael along, who wasn't particularly a comedy fan. I could eventually see this due to his different reactions to the straight forward stand ups and the more left field acts.

Cariad and Paul were on first. They were an improv pairing who built a story up around many scenes, the first of which was based on a one word suggestion from the audience. Cheese. This eventually meandered through pig slaughter, poison production, and a true love story, ending up with the death of Cariad's boy character, Meaty, and ended on Halloumi, bringing us back to where we started.

Andrew Maxwell was arguably the biggest name act of the Saturday and he didn't disappoint. There was a serious looking security guard in the corner who Andrew spotted smiling at one of his gags and from then on kept referring back to him and how cute he looked when he smiles like a chipmunk. He spoke about Scottish independence and wasn't scared to take the piss out of the SNP. It will be interesting to see how this goes down at Edinburgh festival.

Adam Riches and The Great Popcorno (aka Dom)
I had never seen Adam Riches before, but had heard lots of good things about him. I headed upstairs for the first time and found the room packed with people watching Liam Williams. I caught the tail end of his set but not enough to work out what was going on! Adam came on as Sean Bean first, and unveiled a few different characters along the way. As Sean he brought on his chair/horse and asked one of the audience members to bring their horse up too. This culminated with 4 men sitting between each others legs and playing each others hair as a musical instrument.

He was a mixologist and he pointed to Michael's and my drink. Dom had to open his mouth and we each poured a little of our drinks into his mouth before Adam garnished it with a banana and a couple of straws. Later Dom was called up to be The Great Popcorno, which involved him lying mouth open in front of a popcorn machine. Unfortunately the machine was faulty and we never got to see its full glory.

A latecomer was brought on to the stage to be tattooed by Adam (with electric toothbrushes and crayons strapped to his hands and ended up over Adam's knee as the "blood" spurted everywhere. Sometimes audience participation is terrifying, but Adam, who uses it a lot, knows exactly what he is doing. The whole thing is pure fun and joyous without any humiliation. Well, apart from to Adam of course!

John Luke Roberts
Back downstairs we saw Joel Dommett. I had seen him a couple of times before and it's hard not to be drawn in to his cheeky smiley face. He, perhaps foolishly, gave an audience member the remote control to his confetti cannon, and freedom to choose exactly when to set it off. Now there was some peril. And did the audience member choose the right moment? Well... no not quite!

Joel's face was also a delight when he played us some of the recordings by his old band Psirus, as well as a rap that he had written at the worrying age of 20. Psirus were partially reunited using an audience member in a boiler suit / balaclava combination as a replacement for their drummer who they don't see eye to eye with.

I'm a big fan of The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society (ACMS) which is run by Thom Tuck and John Luke Roberts, and it was these two we went upstairs to see next. Thom's new show touches a lot on maths and is called the square root of -1. Thom tries to speak to all the audience at this show which was rather impossible today due to the larger audience than normal. Perhaps he should restrict it to the first two rows/ Anyway we had to complete the sentence "I am...", which then gives Thom the freedom to riff on however we choose to describe ourselves.

John Luke, with no beard and no glasses these days looks a lot younger than when I last saw him. He recreated his girlfriend splitting up with him by having the front row swear, slap and shout at him before throwing a glass of water in his face. Covering his wet face with flour he clambered amongst the audience, bemusing and scaring them all at once, before finally getting an audience member to clean his face. Then the dinosaur appeared and things got weirder! Go and see Thom and John Luke. They are a lot of fun!

The day was nearly ending and we had two more acts to go. I got a front row seat for Jonny and the
Jonny & the Baptists
who, to me, are a cross between Tenacious D and Topping and Butch. There was a lot of UKIP material which went down well, where we learned an alternative meaning of the word "Farage" (with emphasis on the first syllable) There were also regular reprises of their short and filthy  "Buckets..." song. They ended the gig to a massive round of applause with their song "Boom".

I decided to stay downstairs for Nish Kumar, and what a show it was! I have never seen Nish be this funny before and the whole room was absolutely loving it. Again he got the security guard involved in the show and spoke about his old manager asking him not to speak about race so much in case it alienated the crowd. The show ended by... actually I won't tell you cos I think it's a pretty nice surprise when you see this in Edinburgh.

We had a brief chat with Thom, Matthew Crosby, Nish and James Acaster and I headed home for some rest before doing the WHOLE THING again tomorrow.

Blog paused.
Blog continues!

Rachel Parris

After meeting Dom at Wetherspoons for a massive breakfast we headed back to The Garage for another day of ARGing. We reunited with Neal inside and got a seat at the front for Rachel Parris. I have seen her a number of times and she has always been ace. I'm not particularly a musical comedy fan, but she has framed the show in Vegas and has a host of characters performing in the show. There has been a lot of thought gone into this as well as talent! She played a liberal country and western singer, a middle-class mummy's boy "Coldplay" type, and the beautiful diva headline act which climaxed with her song "I'm amazing"

We moved upstairs and saw Lucy Beaumont. She was probably a more traditional comic who reminded me a little bit of Victoria Wood, with her world of characters (or perhaps real life friends, it was hard to decide). She comes from Hull and plays a lot on the difference between life in Hull and life down south. Lou Sanders was compering this section which is always a blast, and she regaled us with her erotic stories, and eventually her fruit and vegetable calendar she has produced to fund her Edinburgh show.

Stuart Goldsmith
We heard Michael Legge and Robin Ince arrive before we saw them, as is often the case. I could over hear them bellowing at each other at the back of the room (the show hadn't yet started) as a situation was developing at the bar between a very arrogant barman and a girl who was rightfully complaining that her coke was flat. "That's how we serve it" said the idiot bar man. Anyway, Robin and Michael's arrival cheered me up from this boring and we retook our seats. Some of the audience suggestions tonight were slightly over ripe avocados, atriums, and of course Mrs Brown's Boys made an appearance due to O'Carroll's defence of his Mr Wang character. I always love this show (Pointless Anger, Righteous Ire, not Mrs Brown's Boys). It's so remarkably silly, and I also love the idea that some people might come along because they are science geeks and have heard Robin with his other double act partner, Brian Cox, and are expecting an intellectual show, whereas instead they get an hour of constant exaggerated fury! Boys, it would be great if these could be put out as podcasts!

Many of you will listen to the brilliant Comedian's Comedian podcast, presented by Stuart Goldsmith, where he chats in depth to comedians about their writing processes and such like. Well he was on downstairs next and the compere eventually managed to get the crowd to move to the front. I still don't know why comedy audiences (especially proper comedy fans) still seem scared to sit at the front. Anyway he spent a lot of the time speaking about his broodiness and eventually dedicated the show to his Scottish granny who keeps going on no matter what life throws at her. We did get a little secret bit that Stuart says won't go into his show cos it is too hacky, but he has worked out which combination of people he looks like. A mixture of a children's TV presenter and "your brother's friend". Great stuff!

I headed back to 'spoons (as all the cool kids call it) and ordered a massive roast to see me through the rest of the day. Of course it was awful, but but was cheap and big. This led me to miss most of Sara Pascoe's set which was a shame. I joined Dom, Neal and Michael at the back and really enjoyed the last 10 minutes anyway!

Josie Long
I have seen David Trent a couple of times before now  doing sections of his show but as yet haven't seen more than 20 minutes at a time so I was really looking forward to this. For those who don't know, David is Nick Helm's hairy guitarist. This is a very visual show with most material being projected. He deconstructs Blurred Lines brilliantly as well as looking at the work of hype man DJ Lock from Rudimental. But the highlight for me is his commentary over Nick Griffin's BNP cookery show. It almost didn't need any input from David at all!

We spotted a lot of off duty comics arriving. Nick Doody (who ended up performing at ACMS later), Nick Helm, Henning Wehn and Matt Kirshen were hanging out. Dom and I ended up chatting with Helm about his upcoming TV show "Heavy Entertainment" which I have seen two recordings of. And guys it is going to be amazing!

Bridget Christie was the first comic to use the main higher stage as she believed that audiences don't like
Nick Doody
being lit. It wasn't that she wanted to be far away from us. This led her to having to clamber onto it like a toddler which made for a great entrance. Her new show "An Ungrateful Woman" looks like a natural follow up to last year's award winning show, and although still in primitive form at the moment is shaping up to be another great one. As often is the case with Bridget in preview she ad-libbed a lot of lines, and when they worked she would suddenly look delighted and take a few seconds out to scribble them in her notes. The almost throwaway line where she calls her husband a racist was one of the funniest individual lines of the weekend.

Thom Tuck
To end the night we had ACMS (The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society). This is usually hosted by John Luke Roberts and Thom Tuck but tonight Thom couldn't make it so Jonny and the Baptists took his place. Lou came on to do her erotic stories and fruit and veg calendar material again. She asked for people's birthday's and read out the entry in the calendar for that month. She hadn't pointed out it was a fruit and veg based calendar which led to some confusion though, so I felt the need to point this out (even though it was not on the list of permitted heckles)

Lou Sanders
Nick Doody did a few minutes about the perils of buying a hammer and how to transport it home if you don't have a bag and Alex Edelman joined us for some experimental stuff. By this time, Thom arrived, resplendent in his cricket whites, fresh from the match that he had (genuinely) played. We got more short sets from Josie Long and Grainne Maguire, and soon ARGComFest 2014 was at an end.

Big thanks to James Lowey and the ARG team for putting this show on. Since it started in 2012 it has grown
from year to year. This was a nice sized venue though and hope to be back here next year.

The McH award this year goes jointly to Adam Riches and Robin Ince & Michael Legge. There is no money or trophy involved, but give yourselves a pat on the back guys! Of course we are all winners here, so don't be downhearted if you didn't win this esteemed award this year. Roll on 2015!

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Good Evening, My Name's Rik. Rik? What Is It? What's Going On?

I found out that Rik was going to perform at Ayr Odeon in 1985, and instantly snapped up a ticket. Ben Elton was his opening act. I think this was before Saturday Live, and the only thing we knew about Ben Elton was that he co-wrote the Young Ones so I was tremendously excited. I had never been to a comedy show before and it was only the bloomin' guys who wrote The Young Ones!

I decided this was something I wanted to keep forever, so with great ingenuity and illegality, I looped a belt through the handle of my Aunt's cassette recorder she had in the kitchen, got a microphone (one of the ones with 2 pins to connect it: one short and one long) and put that down my jacket sleeve and off to the gig I went.

Ben Elton was superb, and this was the first time I heard his "Double Seat" routine. But Rik then came out to huge cheers. "It's lovely to be here in"... he looks at his pen marks on his hand... "Ayyuugh. Ayuugh!? What kind of fucking name is that for a place?" He started performing as The Young Ones' Rick, then came on as Kevin Turvey. I had missed Turvey the first time round, but I think I bought a VHS tape by then so I was familiar with him, and then came on later as himself, explaining that his friend and colleague Adrian Edmonson had written a joke for him. "I'm going to do Ade's joke" he announced. "No not an AIDS joke! That would be awful!", he berated a non-existent heckler.

My friend George and I played that tape over and over and over and over again until we knew Ben and Rik's sets word perfectly. This would have been an ideal day to upload it to Soundcloud, but alas, it has been lost for many years. And now Rik has been lost too.

Anyway, this blog is really just an excuse to post lots of ace clips of Rik. I hope you enjoy them!

Rik and The Young Ones on Comic Relief

The Dangerous Brothers

Rick finds a lady in his bed (The Young Ones)

Filthy, Rich & Catflap

Bad News Tour

More Bad News

Kevin Turvey - The Man Behind The Green Door

Bottom - Live

And finally this. Rik receives an honorary doctorate from the University Of Exeter and gives a fantastic rousing speech to the students. A speech that they will remember for the rest of their lives.

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

A taste of ManBuyCow

It was a rather good comedy week last week. It started with a gig at The Old Queens Head with Pappy's and Badults star Matthew Crosby, followed by Aisling Bea, Lou Sanders and Scott Capurro. I was slightly told off by Matthew for standing at the bar rather than sitting down, and I tried to explain that my back was sore and standing was probably better. Aislng Bea was mad as ever, comparing her look to a prostitute in an oppressive regime.

The second half started and I realised my choice of standing was not a good one and I moved to one of the comfier sofas. Lou read us some extracts from her books (which is one of my favourite sections in her Fubar Radio show she hosts with Richard Herring) and the gig finished with Capurro who I had not seen before. It's a rare treat to hear lines that make me take a sharp intake of breath and wonder if I should be laughing at them! After the show, Lou decided to introduce me to Scott by saying "Hi this is Andy. He's a homosexual."

Bridget Christie and Nick Helm are here in May and I have already rounded up a posse for that. I don't know if there are tickets left, but get them quick if you want to come. And how could you justify missing them?

The following evening I met up with Rose, Sir Bob, Twon and John. We started at Millers, where I met John and one of his friends from school. We headed to "Drink Shop Do" where Lou Sanders is hosting a monthly event with Rachael Stubbings. It's a tiny venue that we were lucky to escape from alive. One spark and we would all have been toast. Richard Herring was headlining where he was trying out new material for his as yet unwritten "Good and Evil" episode of RHMOL. The alternative 10 commandments were a particular highlight as well as some other stuff he had cherry picked from Christ On A Bike. Richard was chatty after the show and I stood back this time and let John do all the talking. This way I know I am safe from making myself look like a dick.

But you know all about these guys. I really wanted to talk about the following night where I went to, what I think was my first open mic night where about 10 comics took to the stage in 5 minute sets. This was at The Torriano in Kentish Town, and it is organised by Rufus and Howard, the guys behind the magnificent ManBuyCow podcast. These guys remind me a little of The Trap, and I think you should all stop reading this for now and go and download the first 2 series of their podcast. But start from episode 1 otherwise it may get very confusing.

I got there around 730 and headed downstairs. I said hello to Rufus and Howard and took a seat at the back, slightly raised on a bar stool. The acts were a mixed bunch. The compere was a beatboxing guy who reminded me of the bragging kid from the Inbetweeners, but he was funny and very talented at what he did. The opening act was older, and reminded me of Harry Hill a little, and it was a good start to the show. I got distracted by a guy to my right who kept wandering around and jumping up and down as if he was about to have a boxing match. I don't like to be unkind in these blogs, so it's probably best I don't mention his act.

Rufus and Howard did around 10 minutes at the start of the second half, with Howard asking Rufus's advice on how to talk to a woman, and finishing with the superb 80s themed "Woman Girl".

I spent a little time afterwards chatting with Rufus and Howard and they are pretty groovy guys. Weirdly, Rufus recognised my voice from an old AIOTM! They are joyful, silly, and naturally funny guys, and not enough of you are listening to their podcast, so get downloading now!

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Where Have I Been?

So I've just written a post about the gig I went to see last night and realised that this was my first blog post in 6 months, so I shall try to vaguely bring you up to date...

August was a quiet month for me as all the comedians were up in August, so it was nice to have some time off! In September a friend and I went to a recording of Newsjack. I'm not a huge fan of TV and Radio recordings, but as he had tickets and Maragret Cabourn-Smith was in it I had to go.

I went to a couple of RHLSTPs in September and October and in November went to one of my locals to see Richard Herring do a preview for his Meaning Of Life show. I saw the first episode being recorded a couple of weeks later.

Not a lot happened in December, other than the recording of Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle where we saw 4 episodes being recorded. I'm really looking forward to the 3rd series being broadcast, and glad to hear there is a 4th series commissioned.

This month I went to a new comedy night at The Wenlock and Essex. Locally I have also been to a few nights at Angel Comedy which are totally free and always busy.

So, for 2014:

Pointless Anger: Righteous Ire is back with Robin Ince and Michael Legge plus guests which take place at the Comedy Bar. I went to the first one and had a thoroughly great time. They are happening on the first Tuesday of the month.

Richard Herring's Meaning Of Life continues too. I went to a preview of the second show at the Old Queens Head (where I also saw Bec Hill and David Trent), but I can't make the show proper this time.

Other things for me to look forward to are a new series of RHLSTP. due to my rota I can only make the first show, which has an unnamed, but apparently big name guest. (Please be Rik Mayall. Please be Rik Mayall), Robin Ince's Dirty Book Club as well as the return of Los Quattros Cvnts, except this time they are now Los Quintos Cvnts, with the addition of a girl one. I know who it is but I'm not sure if it's meant to be a secret or not, so I'll leave you guessing.

I've got into a few newer podcasts. As well as my standard ones such as all the Richard Herring ones, The Bugle, Film Fandango, Comedian's Comedian, POTOm and People With Stories, I have also got into ManBuyCow, By The Way with Jeff Garlin, and Sean Hughes: Off The Radar. give them a go.

OK this blog has been a bit crap. (I did this, then I did that), but I just thought I would fill in the gaps.

I will try to remember to write more of these soon.

Andy x

Bridget Christie - A Bic For Her

I found a quietish spot in the Soho Theatre bar and leaned by the blackboard, waiting for Bob and Twon to arrive. I played on Twitter for a bit then eventually read who was performing that night. Bridget Christie downstairs, John Kearns upstairs and in the main theatre, Tommy Tiernan. What a line up, and I really wanted to see all of them. However, tonight was a Bridget night.

As you probably know, I adore Bridget and have seen 2 previews of this show before the Fringe. She then took it to Edinburgh and won the Fosters prize (still known to most people as the Perrier Award), quite shockingly becoming only the 3rd woman to win it. Her previous shows that I have seen (War Donkey and the one about A Ant) were allegories of feminism, but in this show she tackles the subject head on.

She seemed in a particularly jaunty mood tonight, shaking the front row's hands as she came on and beginning the show by telling us of her previous shows that had always been rather sparsely attended, and told us of one show with only one woman in the audience of a show that required a lot of audience participation. A comedy show about feminism could be seen my some to be a bit boring, but even the biggest sexist couldn't accuse Bridget of that. Her Stirling Moss routine provides a combination of silliness and discomfort from some parts of the room, which ends up with her reading an email that Moss himself has sent her.

She responds to a non-existent heckle that Bob has apparently made about shy she doesn't tackle the bigger subjects such as FGM, and tells us of her one woman crusade to dispose of any lads mags she finds at a child's eye height, as well as handing out a "money prize" during the 30 second section of the show completely dedicated to the lads.

She goes on to talk about the eponymous "Bic For Her" and argues that the lack of a ladies pen may be why the Austen sisters were so bad at writing. The show ends as a tribute to Malala Yousafzai, and Bridget reads from the speech she gave at the UN, but just as the mood starts to get too serious, she punctures it with a great call back to the ladies pen.

Bridget has already sold out two runs of this and will be back doing more in March so if you haven't seen this show, then please do try to get a ticket, but get one fast because the March run will obviously sell out too. I spoke to Bridget in the bar and asked her that as she is doing so many performances of this show, does she ever get bored saying the same things. 

Immediately she replied "No, because I believe everything I say".