I had an awful cold and had been suffering bravely and silently. I considered staying in but decided to risk it. After all was is the last ever Curse Sir Walter Raleigh show.
Michael Legge took his first ever solo show to the Edinburgh Fringe last month and decided to finish things off by playing 3 nights in the Lounge of the Leicester Square Theatre. I have seen Michael do a few of these previews - and to Michael, they are all previews - before, and have always had a brilliant time. I actually came along on Tuesday as well, which ended up with Michael, myself and quite a number of the audience sprint-walking to The Phoenix for the Do The Right Thing podcast.
There was less of a rush this time, and after meeting up with Misha, Woolhouse, Jack, Neal, Paul, Simon, Rob and Michael at The Imperial and having a long discussion about the "Smooth Groove", we headed up to the venue where there were some lovely front row seats waiting for us, with a conspicuous 2 seat gap right in the middle.
Michael came on, and immediately noticed the gaps, telling us that they were his least favourite seats. A couple turned up really late (I mean really late, probably about 20 minutes after the start of the show) and Michael made sure they sat there and gave them a lot of attention!
Paul, Jack, Misha, Me and Simon
'Curse Sir Walter Raleigh' is a show about manners and Michael's obsession with them. You might read his blog and think he is a shouty angry man, but that is only in response to the rudeness of strangers. The show starts with a story about whn he and Colin Hoult were "rescued" by Hunter from Gladiators - "a man that doesn't even exist!"
It then moves on to Michael's obsession with Sir Walter Raleigh based upon a lie his father told him when he was 3. He loves him. He hates him. Whatever it is, Sir Walter is an important man in Michael's life. We then move on to where most of the stories from his blogs happen - the train.
taken by Claire Haigh at the Cambridge Comedy Festival
Michael usually works with other people in sketch shows, or tends to compere. I was so surprised to find out this was his first full length solo show. Hopefully there will be more to come. And hopefully there will be other chances for you to see this one.
Michael ended the show by inviting us all (yes, everyone in the theatre) to The Blue Posts in Newman Street, and, at a guess, around 15 of us took him up on the offer. The pub was being painted downstairs so we were herded into a bar upstairs. It was quite a squeeze, but our good time was continuing.
There was a long discussion with Simon and Paul, mainly about cocks and blow jobs, Paul Litchfield turned up and some how it ended up with an arm wrestling competition: Bear (Neal) vs Lion (Paul JL) vs Bird (Simon). Unsurprisingly, Bear won.
It was so good to be back at The Phoenix after the traditional August drought. I met up with Sarah, Jack, Neal, and Simon beforehand and we waited patiently for the doors to open. Simon is moving to Birmingham on Saturday, so it was nice to see him before he abandons us.
I've always been a fan of Emma. She has done some great work with Richard Herring in the past and I am currently reading her book "The Tent, The Bucket & Me" which is a very funny read. I've only recently discovered Rich Fulcher, and speaking as a non-Mighty Boosh fan, wasn't expecting much when I first saw him, but he is truly hilarious and his "Tiny Acts Of Rebellion" show was one of my favourites this year.
The point of the show is to give the panel some situations and have them tell us what the right thing to do is. Emma remained unconvinced that sex with animals was actually illegal and pulled out some lovely gruesome stories, leaving the panel wondering if this was a comedy panel show or a horror panel show.
We had an interval where I bid Emma farewell and she and Rich were replaced by Thom Tuck (introduced as Fosters Comedy Award Loser) and Danielle's fellow Dave Gorman sidekick and co-writer of "Gutted", Martin White.
Michael, Thom, Danielle & Margaret
In this show, we mainly learned that Martin is not gay, even though I did clearly hear him use the phrase "Your arse - my head". Anyway, moving on, this is a great little podcast, and if you enjoy a non-topical panel show such as "Would I Lie To You?" you should get downloading these as soon as they are released which will be sometime this Autumn. There is another recording on the 27th, so why not come along?
You can listen to the pilot episode here or get it on iTunes.
Margaret Cabourn-Smith & Martin White
Talking of the 27th, Michael Legge starts 3 nights at The Leicester Square Theatre. It may be the last chance you'll get to see the extremely funny "Curse Sir Walter Raleigh", unless of course, he decides to do some more. I have tickets to the 29th but may well go on the 27th as well before haring it to Oxford Circus in time for Do The Right Thing. See you there!
A friend and I had a joint birthday barbecue on Saturday and I didn't get home till about midday on Sunday. As soon as I got home it was time to go out again, to see some Edinburgh previews from Rich Fulcher and Michael Legge. I have seen both these shows before, but as Edinburgh approaches it's great to see them taking shape and getting very close to the final show.
Michael's show in particular has really progressed. It seems completely ready to go, and more importantly is very very funny indeed. Curse Sir Walter Raleigh is about his obsession with good manners as well as his obsession with the titular Sir Walter, who he learned about from his dad. Apparently Sir Walter was the only man that could hit a church's plastic drainpipe with a stone and when Michael, at 3, managed it, his dad told him how special he was. As well as being funny, it's also rather touching in places.
Rich Fulcher's Tiny Acts Of Rebellion has changed too, with the addition of his director to the show, who plays his simpering but rebellious assistant. Both Yen, Carl and Neal ended up on stage at one point, and Carl got one of the biggest laughs of the night describing crisps at the focus group as being sexually arousing and salty.
Rich and Neal
After the show it was Tara and Carl's leaving drinks as they are heading across the water to Ireland. This part of the day lasted a lot longer than I expected, but it was great to see so many of my favourite people in the one place. Spent some time chatting with Michael, Rich, Tara, Carl, Yen, Neal, Simon (x2), Paul Litchfield, who was strangely obsessed with docking. Even Christian Reilly turned up and decided to also discuss docking.
In the morning I was in two minds whether to come to the gig or not as I was feeling so terrible. I had decided I would go, but only have one quick drink with Tara. Naturally that plan went wrong and 8 hours later I was still in the pub.
If you're going to Edinburgh this year I would make both Michael and Rich's shows ones to see. And to quote Michael, "if you don't come I will kill you in the penis"
I met up with Richard at The Albany, and we went downstairs, eventually to be joined by Bob, Laura, and Simon. We got downstairs fairly soon. Luckily we had beers as it turns out the Albany don't open their downstairs bar till the last minute which was rather annoying.
The first act were a double act. Well, they weren't and they were very keen to point that out. I imagine they are booking shows together to save costs in Edinburgh. Anyway, the guy was an impressionist and the girl did musical comedy. I have, unfortunately completely forgotten their names. Do people still do impressions these days? I guess they must do. Apart from a pretty good Michael McIntyre, a lot of his stuff was pretty dated. I mean, is Roy Walker cutting edge? I wasn't a huge fan. The female half of the non-double act came on and did some pretty funny songs. Not to the standard of Tara Flynn of course (If you're going to see one piece of musical comedy at The Fringe this year, make it Tara's!), and it ended with both of them together doing a song involving Jeremy Kyle, which was actually pretty funny.
Next up was an extremely long interval. It must have been close to half an hour as we waited for Jigsaw to arrive. Jigsaw are a 3 piece sketch act featuring Dan Antopolski, Tom Craine and Nat Luurtsema. They had another gig in Camden earlier and arrived very late. I wasn't aware of the other two, but have seen Dan a few times and he is always very very good. (You know, he did the "hedgehog" joke... )
The sketches were fast paced, with very few of them lasting more than 30 seconds or so, which meant the laughs were pretty continuous. So, Jigsaw are an act I would definitely advise any Fringe attendees to go to.
There was a short break (thankfully) and next we were shown a film by The Segue Sisters. Well, I didn't really get it. 3 women, singing rock songs in a "Sheila's Wheels" style. That was about it really. Al Murray was in the video, but I'm not sure why. Maybe if you see them perform it'll all make sense?
The compere came back on to introduce Robin and Michael's "Pointless Anger: Righteous Ire" show and was immediately terrified by Michael pushing a piano through the curtains. If you're ever in a room that contains Michael Legge and a piano, or any other form of keyboard instrument you are pretty much guaranteed a game attempt at "Just Can't Get Enough" and if you're lucky, the Eastenders theme, both of which we got tonight, when Robin demanded that Michael play him a song.
Robin with "Brian Cox"
Michael had had words with the impressionist before Robin arrived and got him on stage before walking off leaving him to speak to Robin as sexy scientist, Brian Cox. Did it work? I'm not sure, but it definitely happened.
The show was fairly short tonight and there was only time to get one issue resolved which was people with allergies. I think we all decided we hated people with allergies.
Robin also berated Jigsaw for their late arrival and about Dan forming a sketch group with much younger cooler comedians.
The show ended with Michael playing a song for Robin, before Robin left the stage, abandoning Michael, and shouting at him to play it better. Michael persuaded the girl from earlier to come up and play, which she rather nervously did, before, of course, Michael abandoning her too, leaving her on stage tinkling her ivories (not a euphemism)
She finally stopped before being told very loudly from Michael and Robin to keep going, and the compere was pretty confused too as he couldn't tell if the show had ended. An unusual end to the show and left us all feeling as if we were going over a humpback bridge in a car. Which I'm sure you'll agree is a lovely feeling.
After the show Simon and I went upstairs where he swooned over the compere (which I didn't understand at all!) and I swooned, and indeed made inappropriate remarks to his rather dishy friend. I think all gigs should end like this.
And it turns out that if I had some coke, he would have.
Wow. It's been quite a few days for me. After a day at Gay Pride on Saturday I ended up at a free comedy night in Angel where i saw Jay Foreman. I know this because I have a scrap of paper with his website written on it. I obviously thought he was very good, therefore asked for more information. So, even though I can't remember much (any) of his act, I recommend him.
The next day I saw Robin Ince and Michael Legge in Brighton. Another fantastic and entertaining day. The day after I was not well and spent most of the day trying to eat something and keep it down and feeling very sorry for myself (I would rather not go into the details) but by the evening was feeling a little better and decided to pop down to The Fortnight Club just round the corner from my house. There I saw a number of comedians: Bennett Arron compering, as well as Sean Brightman, Tony Cowards, Juliet Meyers and others. After the gig (also attended by Richard and Simon) I met Michael Legge (again) and had a little chit chat with him, Bennett and Sean before heading home.
Jesus and Bridget Christie
Today was the long-awaited Edinburgh preview with Michael Legge and Bridget Christie. I had seen Bridget's show last year, when she performed at LQC as "A Ant" (in an elaborate ant costume) and was keen to see more. I met up with Neal, Bob and Simon at The Olde Explorer for some grub beforehand. I was horrified to see that my favourite Field Mushroom and Shropshire Blue sandwich had been taken off the menu, so tried a Grilled Halloumi instead. It was ace.
We got to The Phoenix and I wondered where Alex / Mr Pineapple Band was (we eventually found him after Michael's set and before Bridget's). It was pretty stuffy inside so we moved outside (and now it's nearly a month since I stopped smoking, I'm amazed I still had no compulsion to have a fag!) By 7:45 we were summoned downstairs. We found a nice table, but no one seemed to want to sit at the front, so in the absence of volunteers we moved into the empty seats.
Simon & Bridget
Andrew Collins was compering for the evening, coming out of retirement to say funny things on stage. He asked us about a Sun headline about a new species of lizard in the Philippines that had 2 penises and asked us to think of a better headline than "Busy Lizzie" which, he argues, is the worst thing in tabloid journalism today - not the voicemail hacking, but the lack of good headline puns.
Michael came on to do an almost finished version of his "Curse Sir Walter Raleigh" which has certainly moved on a lot since I saw the last "full" preview. OK granted that was 12 months ago, but it was really shaping up. He starts by telling us why the Edinburgh Fringe is shit, as well as the time he and Colin Hoult were rescued by a 90s superstar (no spoilers!), as well as coming to the main point of the show - his obsession with Sir Walter Raleigh and good manners, including an obvious lie told to him by his father about Sir Walter's ability to hit a plastic drainpipe with a stone. The show ends with some stories of Michael's encounters with rudeness on trains. For full details, see his blog.
After the interval, Andrew was back, introducing Bridget Christie's "warm up act" (it's actually her in a costume, but ssshhh, don't tell anyone), Japanese Knotweed. The music plays. And plays. And plays. We wondered if this was truly avant-garde comedy and she wasn't going to set foot on the stage. We weren't sure if we should applaud when the first song ended. I didn't. Others did. Turns out it was just a cock up and Bridget was still getting changed into her rather elaborate costume.
Bridget / Nick Clegg
Andrew came back on to reintroduce her and she arrived (see picture above) with a tambourine and ukulele round her neck as well as a hula hoop tied round her waist and coconut shells on her feet. She eventually managed to take the costume off but it did take some time. She isn't sure if she'll do this again, but I think we'd all like to see it.
She told us she goes to church every week and was a Catholic. Now this is not the done thing theses days in comedy (and I remember telling Robin Ince on the tube on Sunday that I was personally getting bored with atheism in comedy - a brave move I tink you'll agree) and the freshness of it really worked. Although I imagine most of the crowd were atheists, we were all still on her side. Words cannot describe her Jesus puppet. They can, but I'm not sure which words to choose. Just look at the picture.
She told us that she was married to a comic who is an atheist, and I won't say any more about that but she told us that her babysitter asked her kids what mummy and daddy did. She said "Well... mummy's funny, but daddy just talks...) - I immediately thought it was a great title for this blog, especially when you know who "daddy" is !
Andrew came back on to thank us for coming and decided to out me by pointing at me and saying "you're gay..." - There was some sort of reason for this - oh yeah about another weak Sun pun that was about Daniel Radcliffe being straight - "Potter's not a Botter". I was chosen as a representative of the gay community, in fact the Scottish gay community to agree that "Botter" is not any sort of gay slang.
What a great show. Completely silly, not an apologist for the Catholic church, but not being ashamed of her beliefs. Forget religion. Your beliefs are irrelevant. You will LOVE Bridget Christie.
We had a couple of drinks after. Hey Collings & Herrin fans - I was told by a reliable source that he is pretty sure there will be more podcasts. So nerds - stop worrying. Once Edinburgh is over, all bets are off... anything could happen.
I had a nice chat with Bridget after too, and she is extremely sweet. She doesn't seem half as confident off-stage than on it, and both Simon and I had to really tell her how much we enjoyed it - and I'm still not sure she believed us!
Anyway, Michael has 2 more previews here on Sunday afternoons. I will be there to see Michael anyway (honest!) but on the 17th, the other guest is Thom Tuck, and on the 24th it is Rich Fulcher from The Mighty Boosh - so come to both of these ! See you there!
I went on holidays today. It was less than a day, but surely any time anyone goes to Brighton it's a proper holiday? I haven't been to Brighton in years and realised my geography wasn't as good as it was. I went for a quick booze at The Bulldog; a pub I used to go to quite frequently in about 1988, but it took me ages to find it, and when I did realised it was much smaller than I remember it.
Robin Ince
I met with Neal at the Caroline Of Brunswick (or The Kaz, as someone told me when asking directions). We had a rather disappointing but enormous Sunday roast, and moved upstairs to the L-shaped venue. We got front row seats. No one ever likes to sit there, but Neal and I are total attention seekers and grabbed them. We were soon joined by Vicky and her friend.
It was an odd start to the show. Traditionally the audience face an empty stage and the act is introduced, before bounding on and basking in the applause. Not so today. Robin and Michael were on "stage" just chatting as the audience filed in. Eventually the show began and the two boys moved off stage. We thought that was so they could come on again to applause, but all they did was pull the curtain closed on the other side of the L-shape, leaving almost half the audience behind it.
Pissed dog
They ranted for a while about nothing in particular, and although this is what we come for, they have a section in the show where they ask the audience what has made them angry and the audience vote to see if it is pointless anger, or righteous ire. My hand went up first and I regaled them with a story about being at Gay Pride yesterday and being threatened with being hit quite hard simply because I told a man he was a "fucking cunt" for buying his dog a beer,. Thats right, he didnt just give his dog the remnants of his own pint or give it water and pretend to us it was beer. He actually went to the bar and bought a beer and poured it into a bowl for the dog. The dog was hot. He was panting and would have drank anything. I'm getting angry again just typing this Anyway, let's look at the dog cos he is nice and it will make me calm down -->
Other topics included a man who was angry about a "try it before you buy it" religion course, (resulting in controversial comments from Michael, leading Robin into an awkward silence) and someone being furious about the price of booze at a festival (duh!) Michael finished the gig by reading one of his blogs - in fact this one here - which was much funnier being read out than reading it of the page.
The evening ended with a lovely song from Michael, like all good shows should. We had a beer or 2 afterwards outside, and headed home. I shared a train with Michael and Robin which was lovely if disappointingly devoid of arguments. I did, however, learn lots of comedy gossip as well as the fun that can be had with Wikipedia - I'm also amazed the blog I wrote about that journey has managed to get more words of comment than there are of blog already, and had a lovely chat about the atheism in comedy with Robin on the tube on the way back to Angel.
This is a show that will never have a script or even a plan. Basically, the show will change every time you see it, depending on Michael and Robin's particular moods, or what they have seen recently. I imagine in Edinburgh they will be much much angrier ! Anyway, if you are going to Edinbugh go and see it !
There's nothing I like more than a gig near to my house. Well there is one thing. A free gig near to my house. So today I headed to The Wilmington Arms. This was the venue for my first comedy gig a couple of years ago (apart from a Billy Connolly gig in the 90s and Rik Mayall and Ben Elton in 1985). Well, the first gig I attended before becoming a comedy regular. I'm sure you get the point.
That time it was Richard Herring compering a group of geeky students and lecturers who were of mixed abilities. Still, it was a fun day out. Today it was Edinburgh previews from Bennett Arron, Michael Legge and The Mighty Boosh's Rich Fulcher.
Before the gig I met up with Jack, who pointed out that the pub smelled of piss. He wasn't wrong. The pub did smell a bit pissy. Anyway, joining us later were Sir Bob (the birthday boy), Richard, and Marco. I also bumped into fellow Collins & Herring jingle writer Rose. We didn't get much of a chance to chat but hopefully will see more of her at tomorrow's AIOTM.
The gig started with Bennett Aaron. His gentle (not gentile) Jewish / Welsh humour went down nicely, but not being Welsh or Jewish had no real reference point other than what I've heard from Joan Rivers and Jackie Mason (and Max Boyce). It was a lot of fun, but I think some of the jokes may have gone over my head.
Michael Legge was on next. "Curse Sir Walter Raleigh" is his first solo show that he will be performing at the Fringe. I had seen a preview of this last year when he played at the Hen & Chickens with Andrew Collins (doing his Secret Dancing show). He didn't manage to take it to Edinburgh then, but has managed to book the venue this time. It's a show all about the importance of manners. Michael is a very well-mannered man. Unless you are rude, in which case all bets are off. As usual I enjoyed myself and enjoyed his contradictory stories about whether to get "involved" or not. We really enjoyed his story of being rescued by Hunter from Gladiators, as well as explaining to a lad in the front row why you should never get involved if someone drops their Ventolin inhaler. This is a set that will be fantastic once it is tightened up and the loose ends are dispensed with. There was no mention of Sir Walter Raleigh at all.
Rich Fulcher was on at the end and he was previewing his "Tiny Acts Of Rebellion". In fact - watch this clip from the Craig Ferguson Show. Most of the set was him reading from his book, and about various tiny ways to stick it to "the man"
After the show, Richard wimped out and Sir Bob, Jack and I headed to The New Red Lion Theatre and saw, first of all, the guy from Stand Up Hero who I thought was great - an accountant who was really up for anything. he looks like an accountant, he sounds like an accountant, but he is absolutely brilliant! Next was Danielle Ward. I saw her at The Comedy Crawl but know her best from her contributions to the Dave Gorman shows on Absolute Radio. She has quite a unique voice that does sound rather sarcastic by default, and quite a twisted dark sense of humour.
Richard Herring
After this was a comedian who, (how can I put this kindly), perhaps wasn't to my taste. Let's not hang around... Let's not say anymore. She probably thought she was avant-garde. But we all agreed that we weren't huge fans. Bob thinks I am being too kind however. He thinks "the naive arrogance of performing ill-prepared drivel was in itself almost entertaining."
Richard Herring was on to close the night and did some new material about "What Is Love Anyway" (WILA) It was a lot of fun and the show is coming together nicely. There were a couple sitting beside me who had equal confusion about the previous act and who had never heard of Herring. As time went on, I could see that they were really enjoying themselves. It's always nice to see new people at gigs seeing things for the first time and the effect it has on them. Much more so than through my tired, jaded eyes. Just for me (I like to think) he included my new favourite routine - "Give Me Head Till I'm Dead"
It was a fun Sunday. It's now Monday morning and I half to be at AIOTM in 12 hours. My eyes are sleepy, my head hurts a bit, but I'll see you all there!
Last week, the result of The Moral Maze made Richard to a terrible thing this week. He had promised to wank over ever page of a porn made and give it to a 14-17 year old boy (that could prove their age).
Anyway, I started the evening off by meeting up with Michael Legge and his friend Dotes in a little pub off Oxford Street. Dotes is a childhood friend of Michael's, who I have been chatting to on Twitter quite a bit. Michael and Dotes regaled me with stories of drinking pints of vomit, defecation, bloody semen, and other such lovely things. Luckily Neal, Tara Flynn and her gorgeous hubby Carl arrived to provide a bit of class to the conversation.
I headed off to visit AIOTM to find what was in store. Rich started the show as usual with a 40 minute chat to the audience and a routine that was one of the first stand up sets he had written. He asked myself and Rob Sedgebeer if he had done a particular routine at AIOTM before and Rob told him he had. We have been promised the routine of fucking Jesus in the stigmata before the end of the series, which will be something to look forward to. Rich finished this part by trying some psychic readings on the audience. I think he's been reading the amazing Paranormaility book by Richard Wiseman!
AIOTM itself began, beginning with Richard brandishing a rather imposing bin with its contents hidden. However this was worrying. We all knew what was in there. Pippa Middleton's Disembodied Anus made a welcome reappearance, and for the AIOTM nerds, a brief appearance by Tiny Andrew Collins. Could he be testing the waters to see if he can make a full come back? For the full show you'd better just listen to it, but as Rich himself says, its better to listen to a few earlier ones so you have some sort of idea what's going on.
A slight balls up by Emma Kennedy was remedied by an emergency "Turn Back Time" segment, which is one way of getting out of editing!
And the result of this week's Moral Maze. Well, it's a good one. And when Richard says he will do something, you know he will !
Great night as ever. Only 2 more shows left (possibly ever!) so get your tickets booked now.
So after realising that Craig at work went to see Bad Musical, I invited him to LQC, and he seemed quite keen. We met up with Rob at the main bar of The Phoenix, soon to be joined by Neal. We got downstairs and found we had a lovely table thanks to Muki, and awaited the show.
Dan Tetsell, Jeremy Limb, Michael Legge
I've spoken about LQC on a number of blogs, but tonight, even though, by their own admission, they were under-rehearsed, they pulled a blinder. One of the regular Cvnts, Dan Mersh was unavailable due to some actual paid work, so AIOTM's Dan Tetsell stepped in at (almost literally) the last minute, though you wouldn't have noticed. He looked like he was part of the team from day one.
The toddlers were back, as was the erotic poet Sean Goldsworthy, and of course the O'Flaherty Brothers (and Billy Sunday) who we have missed the last few shows. A highlight for me was the Daniel O'Donnell interview, played by Michael Legge and I do hope that he comes back when the Cvnts return in the Autumn.
I spoke to Paul after the show and it looks like The Trap have quite a show lined up for the Camden Fringe. You heard it here first. I'll be booking my tickets as soon as I can.
MushyBees was up next. He is the guy who plays Pam Ayers in the Precious Little podcast and has quite a unique act, combining his caricatures with bizarre short poetry. I was rather disappointed he didn't "tranny up" for the evening, but hey, you can't have everything.
FIVE FUCKING QUID!!?!?
Yet again, Richard Herring was on, making his second appearance at LQC. He started with some Christ On A Bike material which he had incorporated into the show after receiving some rather odd email from Christians who thought the show was blasphemous. He moved into some new material from his next show "What Is Love Anyway". I've seen him do a few of these before in the last couple of weeks, but whether it was the tiredness kicking in, or perhaps he just wanted to start getting things word perfect, with the correct delivery, he used a lot of notes tonight. Having said that, he was his usual high standard, and slightly scared Craig by asking him a question about eggs.
After the gig, Rob, Craig and I went to Village Soho to meet our friend Richard where I ended up paying £5 for a rather regular bottle of cider. I know drinks are getting expensive, but five fucking quid??? DO NOT GO TO THIS BAR EVER!
Glad I got that off my chest.
So farewell Cvnts. Don't forget about us while you're away, and come back in the Autumn bigger, stronger, and more shambolic than ever!
I shook off my hangover around 2ish and headed back to Camden. My basic plan was to stick around Belushi's and head to Improv in the evening. At Belushi's I caught the last half of Tim Fitzhigham. I had never seen him before but he was delighting the crowd with his tales of naval exploits and zebra crossings.
Thom Tuck
I found Neal, Nicola and Rob at the front for the next act and managed to get a seat on the comfy sofa just before Sarah Kendall came on. She's an Australian comic. She has an amazing head of red hair which led her to tell us about the fact that English people are either repulsed by it, or turns into a weird fetish. She also told us of her worst heckle when an audience member said he was going to basically sexually assault her. It was slightly uncomfortable to listen to but she managed to make it funny. Her idea for a hip hop video with loads of hot gay guys gangbanging was hilarious too especially when she said that she hadn't written the song yet but she expected it would be about how great she is.
Thom Tuck was on next. I won't go into details as you can read about his show here. He was soon followed by Danielle Ward who was fantastically filthy. Her voice sounds like a mixture of innocence and sarcasm, and when telling us a story about her first sexual experience wanking a man into a bin, she heard a child in the audience and got visibly worried. When told the child was only 3 and wouldn't understand a huge cheer erupted from the crowd. It turned out later that the child was Shappi Khorsandi's!
I decided to follow the other 3 to The Camden Head. I got a pint and went towards the stairs only to be told it was full. Typical. I was now in a noisy pub i didn't really like with a pint I didn't really want. Anyway I decided best course of action was to down it as quickly as I could and head back to Belushi's.
Shappi Khorsandi
I got there just in time to catch the end of a set by an Australian comic who was a bit shouty and aggressive for my liking, but Shappi followed next. I had only seen her live once before which was at All day Edinburgh which was rather shambolic, but today she was on top form. She heard a girl in the audience laugh and pointed out it was the cutest laugh she had ever heard. She invited her up on stage to have a chat and the girl told her that her mum was a huge fan of hers. Is that a good thing to hear? I'm not sure! Later when asked what she did for a living she said that she didn't want to say "in case I have to help someone who is unwell". Obviously she was a doctor and Shappi questioned the sincerity of the Hippocratic oath that she took. She brought her little boy on to stage at the end of her show which was a rather cute moment, though Shappi told us that it was so nice it was even making herself sick.
John, Michael & Brendan
After a quick refuel at Costa Coffee we headed to Theatro Technis to catch The London Comedy Improv. They perform at the Phoenix on the last Wednesday of every month and are well worth a visit. Like all improv shows they rely on suggestions from the audience to base their sketches around, so I started thinking. Tonight the cast was Brendan Dempsey, Tara Flynn, Michael Legge, Kirsty Newton, Rufus Hound, John Voce and Tiernan Douieb.
Among the sketches we got were a day in the life of Jacob (one of the audience members) who had told us what he did, his aspirations and where he worked, as well as John doing a song about dinosaurs in a Nigerian accent which not many would be brave enough to do. Michael's face during this was a picture.
Michael, Tara, Rufus & Kirsty
John, Michael, Kirsty, Tiernan, Brendan & Tara
We stayed for the 2nd show and when it started there were only 8 in the audience. Luckily as the show went on more people joined us. My suggestion of "Ridicule is nothing to be scared of" brought on a good sketch, though it ended with Michael telling us he hated Adam Ant.
The sketch that brought the house down involved John being shouted at for around 5 minutes by Michael, as Michael "apologised" for all the awful things he had done to him, ending with a line about cum. A few people left at this point, and Tara asked them "Was it the cum?" However I don't think it was a genuine walkout. I think they were just moving on to another venue, but for the purposes of this blog lets say they stormed out disgusted (They didn't)
After the show, myself, Nicola and Neal went for a beer in a local pub (with no music or comedy) with Tara, Michael, John and Carl (aka Mr Flynn) and it was a lovely way to round off the evening. I headed home stopping by Belushi's to try and catch some of Rich Hall but it was so busy I was stuck behind a pillar and couldn't see a thing, and made the correct decision to wander back to Camden Town tube.
Top Acts: All of London Comedy Improv, Shappi Khorsandi, Sarah Kendall, Danielle Ward and Thom Tuck.
Originally rather cheekily billed as coming from the "creators of AIOTM" (soon changed to "production team - ie : bloke that presses record), this pilot podcast is the brainchild of comedian, musician, and Dave Gorman sidekick, Danielle Ward.
Now, I'm not sure what a pilot podcast is. Perhaps it has to go through some sort of podcast authority these days. That's political correctness gone mad! Anyway, as it is a pilot, I'm not sure whether this is going to be released or not. I would assume it will, because all in all it was a rather fun night.
I met up with Simon and Paul at the venue (The Phoenix - surprised?) where they had ordered two huge plates of cheese. We were soon joined by Neal and said hello to comedy stalwarts Rob and Kate. (At their table there was a lady whose trousers were so low when she leaned forward that we could see most of her flowery pants. Unfortunately I was told by my more sensible tablemates that it would be inappropriate to take a picture of this for my blog.
Thom Tuck
Opening tonight was Thom Tuck; one of The Penny Dreadfuls. They are a sketch troupe that I don't know very much about. They had headlined at All Day Edinburgh but it was a long day and I didn't get to see them. Anyway, he performed a preview of his new Edinburgh show for around 40 minutes or so, and was an absolute joy. I do love seeing an act for the first time and being completely blown away by them. His show revolved around his obsession with Disney straight to DVD movies and the fact that virtually no one in the audience had seen them didn't make it any less funny. There were also occasions when he told us of when he had his heart broken... by a girl, as well as a fantastic 3D joke, involving Paul, some special glasses and a lightly tossed ball of paper at his face. Thom was rather surprised later when it turns out Paul had seen as many Lilo and Stitch movies as him.
Michael, Jim Bob, Danielle, Margaret & Dan
After a short break, Danielle introduced the panellists for the podcast. Michael Legge, Jim Bob, (from the fantastic Carter USM), TV Burp writer Dan Maier, and Margaret Cabourn-Smith. The format was similar to many panel shows, this time the questions were (as you probably guessed from the title) about what the right thing to do is for a given situation. What's the right thing to do when plummeting in a lift? What to do if you get chased by a bear? Audience members contributed their own problems at the start of the show which the panel gave very funny, if slightly unwise advice for, as well as trawling through the problem pages of the tabloids.
Michael, was his usual shouty self, which of course we all like. We know Jim Bob writes extremely witty and pun laden lyrics, and in a live comedy situation he was very very funny indeed. Dan reminded me a little of Andy Hamilton. He didn't say much, but whenever he opened his mouth a fantastic line came out of it.
The show was occasionally interrupted by the occasional shout of "libel!" from Ben, and perhaps too much good natured heckling from the man in the front row who thought I was Kevin Eldon (???) but other than that it all ran rather smoothly shambolic.
This was a fun night. In order to ensure a good audience the price was an astonishing £2.50, but I think most people would be willing to pay twice as much in order for the team to at least cover their costs. Danielle had mentioned this would be unedited, but with a little editing this could be tightened up nicely.
Oh, I had a little chat with Thom afterwards and he is playing at The New Red Lion in Angel on Tuesday 3rd April. I'm planning to be there. Come along.
These were the words of Lost Quattros Cvnts' first ever walk out! Michael announced this to the packed out venue with a certain matter of pride towards the end of the show. To be honest, I've seen worse. I thought the Cvnts were relatively mild. And in any case, what did that lady expect to see. There's a clue in the title. And the quote will look good on the next poster.
So another month has arrived, and it was time to head down to Cvnts once more. Could it top last month's awesome gig here by Al Murray? This month we had the legendary Stephen Merchant to look forward to. I had seen him once before a year or two at The Old Queen's Head (handily situated less than 5 minutes walk from my house) as he was a secret guest at the Comedy Gold night which also featured Richard Herring and he was astounding. Michael Legge has said he was the best comedian he has ever seen when he did the circuit in the days before "The Office".
Also on the bill was Tara Flynn, who I have usually seen as one of the core performers of The London Comedy Improv, but more recently has had some success with her "Big Noise" show. OK, so Michael had announced that it would be Catie Wilkins, but there had been a terrible admin error, and Tara bravely stepped in at the last minute. We have however been promised Catie in May.
My friend Marco had to organise his works night out and asked me for some suggestions. After discounting London Comedy Improv (as it was 2 days before pay day) I told him about this, and he seemed keen. Anyway, he was running late but texted me a description of his workmates for me to say hello to. I think he underestimated the amount of people, as well as my willingness to speak to strangers.
I decided to walk to the venue. It was such a nice day and i had an hour to kill. I remember walking to town a lot last summer and will probably do this more. It gives me the illusion that I'm being healthy. Outside I met Rob, Bob, 2 of Rob's friends, Jack, and we headed downstairs. The queue took a long time to move but once we were in, I found that the always lovely Muki had organised a table for four of us right at the front. Unfortunately (logistically) 2 more people had turned up so we couldn't all fit together. I was trying to work out how to fill these seats the best I could and there was a slight awkwardness as people saw 2 empty seats at the front and kept trying to sit in them, so I decided to grab Jack and Misha from the bar and plonk them beside us.
The gig was sold out tonight. I'm quite sure this is the first time this has happened and they had to turn 40 people away. So a quick tip; if you're coming to LQC, especially when a name comedian is on, get to the venue for 7pm.
LQC came on with air flutes, passing it from one to another as the song went on. It was finally passed to a front row audience member who, judging by the sound of it, clearly had no idea how to play the air flute. Silly person. They then explained that they hadn't written any sketches (which I think turned out to be true!), but decided to plow ahead anyway. Paul and Jeremy's baby characters were both cute and funny as ever, with Jeremy's occasional ear piercing shriek taking Paul by surprise. We were also promised Elizabeth Taylor's "last ever sketch". When this arrived, the Cvnts quickly decided which roles they should play, and as they had never seen it before, excitedly launched into it. However we soon found out that Liz wasn't the Michael Jackson hugging, gay-loving superstar we thought she was, unleashing a torrent of foul language and homophobic abuse, much to The Cvnts embarrassment. I think it was as this point the "digusted" lady left. We got Sean Goldsworthy again, this time reading his classic "homoeroticker", which was equally hilarious and arousing, no matter what your sexual orientation.
Tara Flynn was the first guest, and as usual, her charm shone through. She played four songs: Bjork Song, The Fog From The Film The Fog, Custard, and a fantastic (thought slightly shambolic) Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue parody, backed by Precious Little's James Hingley on guitar, and joined by Michael on vocals. As Michael said later when I asked about this video, it was something "you had to be there" for, but I think it's worth preserving this in people's memories. By the way, sorry about the enormous glass but it was a hot night!
Landfill Hill
Custard
The interval was next. To be honest, I've had better. I felt I didn't make the most of it, and will definitely try harder next month.
It was time to announce the special guest. It wasn't a huge secret so hardly a surprise, but Stephen Merchant got a huge round of applause. He started by talking about when he first became famous, and the various articles he had appeared on, showing us his first ever picture in a national newspaper (he had disappeared out of the top of the frame) and his first interview, where he was called Stephen Mitchell. He also told us about an article after he had been spotted dancing. Unfortunately this was rather spoiled by someone shouting out "albatross". If you're going to heckle, make it funny. Don't just say the punchline to the joke! Twat.
He explained that the purpose of his upcoming tour was to find a wife, and told us all about the difficulties he has in his sex life at the moment, mainly related to his height.
A super night out indeed. Michael gave us clues at the end who the special guest for next month is. I won't repeat them here, mainly because Paul doesn't seem as confident that they'll get him. (Damn - that's a clue - he's a man. Or is he?) Suffice to say that if they manage it, for me, this will be the bext special guest they have ever had (bear in mind they've already had Jason Manford, Al Murray, Richard Herring and now Stephen Merchant)
Buy Tara Flynn's album, and to finish, here is her video clip of "The Fog From The Film The Fog"
Los Quattros Cvnts is one of my favourite comedy nights on the first Wednesday of the month at The Phoenix in central London. I've written about it before here and here. Fun, silly, and extremely friendly. I brought along Cvnts virgins Ken, my big brother, and Priscilla who I work with as well as meeting up with a couple of Cvnts stalwarts - Sir Bob, Graham, Neal and Rob.
After a now traditional bit of grub in the Old Explorer opposite, we headed into the extremely busy Phoenix and lurked by the door. We were called downstairs at 7:15, which was remarkably early, although we soon realised this was so we could stand on the stairs. This was actually lovely as it was a lot cooler and less noisy here.
Thanks to the ever lovely Muki, we got seats right at the front. This worried my brother and I reassured him that it was safe and he wouldn't be picked on! Although having watched an Al Murray DVD earlier in the day, he didn't believe me.
The Cvnts opened with a sketch about the film Inception, but having never seen the film, it went a little over my head. Michael had said before the gig that he was exhausted from his travel to the far east but luckily had to drink a can of Red Bull in this sketch. What a stroke of luck. It's almost like he wrote that in deliberately! The moved on to a job interview sketch where the job being interviewed for was job interviewer. This was pretty intricate involving Dan and Jeremy playing three characters at once. I think I mentioned before about some of The Trap's sketches reminding me of The Two Ronnies, and this was another great ronniesque sketch.
Paul and Jeremy's jaded babies were back, and then it was the turn of the extremely erotic Sean Goldsworthy, with another attempt at "choose your own" erotica where he asked a member of the audience to pick from the options he had written. When I saw Paul do this last month I had assumed he had scripted it so it would always be the same, but he has in fact written pages of it, and his "jump to page 44" instructions are totally genuine.
Jo Neary closed the first half with some character based comedy, my favourite of which was the new comedian who had just finished a comedy course.
Interval time next, and it was so good I can't figure out words to describe it. But quite possibly the best interval ever. Then again, there was that interval in the late '90s I remember so clearly, so scratch that. The interval was alright I guess though.
During the interval, Paul had mentioned it was a shame they didn't have time to do one of the sketches, but luckily they managed to fit it in for the second half. Dan was reading us a story from Fiesta to let us know the literary merit of such porn stories, while Paul was revising his London A-Z. This was a lot of fun with Tourettes style interjections of "Cockfosters" and "Mudchute". Very very silly, and a lot of fun.
Finally it was time for Al Murray to perform. I think everyone in the room was very excited. Usually at LQC the headline act will be someone known in the comedy scene, but it's rare they get a household name. I guess the only person as big as Al that's been on there would be Jason Manford quite a long time ago (He was superb by the way)
Al confirmed to us that he's one of the best comedians around to riff off the audience and the first 40 minutes or so was just him talking to us and obviously giving us some cheeky abuse. He noticed Priscilla's pint, asked her what it is, and told her that it was unacceptable. He picked it up, and to Priscilla's astonishment, downed it! He also cnofiscated a glass of white wine from a lad in the second row. He sent a young lad with emo type hair that he had already nicknamed "Crowboy" to the bar with a tenner out of his own pocket to get a replacement and came back with a white wine for Priscilla, although I ended up sneakily drinking it when Al wasn't looking. After abusing people for their lack of "proper" jobs (such as marketing, publishing, and writing for Torchwood - or Touchcloth as Al named it) he went on to ask us to name any country in the world and he would explain why Britain was better which he managed to do with an impressive knowledge of history!
After the gig we had a brief chat with Mr Murray at the bar, who by now had changed out of his landlord's uniform and was now sporting a rather dapper hat, and I mentioned to him that Priscilla was unaware of "the rules" and he told us that for the landlord, there are no exceptions. Very funny man and a true gent.
Next month the special guest will be a rather tall man who works with "extras" in movies and used to have an "office job. You'd be totally mental not to come. See you there!
Gutted was the talk of the Edinburgh Fringe. Having never been to Edinburgh I had missed it, and my long-running fear of musicals meant that I didn't go to see the previews at The Riverside Studios beforehand.
Gutted was written by Martin White and Danielle Ward (Dave Gorman's sidekicks on his Absolute Radio show, as well as the creators of Karaoke Circus), and stars Colin Hoult and (for tonight after only 2 rehearsals) Isy Sutie: better known as Dobby from Peep Show.
The story is one of joyful revenge. Sorrow (Sutie) saw her parents killed by her husband-to-be (Hoult) and spends the next hour and a half of the show murdering his entire family. The show had been described as Glee meets The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, with jazz hands as well as inappropriate violence and was an absolute joy.
Photo stolen from Edward Moore's Facebook page.
I met up with Hitch, Misha, Jack Binoculars (if that IS his real name), and Simon at The Montague Pyke. I think Jack may have chosen this as a "Precious Little" pilgrimage as it is now a sacred site where one of the first "pubcasts" were recorded. We treated it with the reverence it deserved and drank beer.
We got to Leicester Square Theatre (seems that all the bigger gigs I go to seem to take place here) and joined a rather odd queue. No one was moving. No one seemed to really be queuing so Hitch and I just went to the front and picked up his ticket and ended up being first to the bar. If we hadn't, the whole night could have been ruined.
Now I have a 6 week residency in seat A14 for the next run of AIOTM so was naturally upset to see someone else sitting in "my" seat. However I was in A11 so it wasn't too bad. I could still keep an eye on it.
"Gutted" has an extremely talented cast. I would happily pay the same money to see any one of them, so seeing so much talent on stage was a treat: As well as the aforementioned Ward, White, Sutie and Hoult (who played the entire Bewlay family) we also had The Penny Dreadfuls (David Reed, Humphrey Ker, & Thom Tuck), Michael Legge, Margaret Cabourn-Smith, Sara Pascoe, Doc Brown, Lizzie Roper, and for all you 90s indie kids out there, Jim Bob from Carter USM.
As this was a concert performance, I think the only reason I could have enjoyed it more would be to see the full play with sets, costumes etc as I did get a little confused as to who was who and may have got lost a little along the way. The original play was backed by a rock band. This time Martin had written a full score with his Mystery Fax Machine Orchestra which must have been a massive amount of work.
Thanks to Martin for allowing me to post this clip of "Pretty Amazing Guy" (sorry for cutting Humphrey's head off but he IS too tall.)
There was a Q&A session after the performance, hosted by Robin Ince, so Hitch and I took some nice comfy seats at the side. Unfortunately I must have relaxed too much, swallowed my cider the wrong way and coughed uncontrollably, soaking my jeans and any unfortunate passers by. Luckily there weren't any. I hurriedly left the main room in a cloud of tears and shame and spent a lovely 10 minutes coughing and choking to death in the toilet. And to my amazement, Hitch actually found this funny.
Jim Bob (Thanks to Edward Moore again)
Colin Hoult and Isy Sutie
(Stolen from Edward Moore)
After the show I met back up with Hitch, Jack and Simon. Unfortunately Hitch had to go and get his train and we spent a little time chatting with Jim Bob. After JB let us into some unrepeatable showbiz secrets, I told one of my own involving Elastica. I'm not sure how this happened, but lets just say "Elastica" prompted Jack to tell us a story about his ex-girlfriend's vagina. At this point I went to the loo and Jim Bob quickly made his excuses and went to talk to someone/anyone else.
I hope Gutted will be back and if you don't like musicals, go and see it. It will cure your phobia as it seems to have done with mine. Also, make a note that The Trap's "Bad Musical" shall be doing a run at The Soho Theatre soon. That's one you won't want to miss!
There was less of a rush this time, and after meeting up with Misha, Woolhouse, Jack, Neal, Paul, Simon, Rob and Michael at The Imperial and having a long discussion about the "Smooth Groove", we headed up to the venue where there were some lovely front row seats waiting for us, with a conspicuous 2 seat gap right in the middle.
