The Comedy Crawl - Day 1

The Comedy Crawl is an offshoot of the Camden Crawl, and it's spread over two evenings, with over 100 acts booked. I had been looking forward to this for some time. Let's get the disappointment out of the way first though:

There was no schedule released until the day of the gigs. This schedule seemed rather ambitious to say the least. I know that last minute changes get made and some people cancel, and others may be added, but all it takes is a little update to the website so we can access the most up to date information. I know the thrill of an event like this is that you can stumble across new talent for the first time, but I would also like the option of knowing when and where a particular act will be performing.

We queued up to get our wristbands at 5pm, and we went to the Black Cap for a bite to eat and a couple of acts before the shows started at 7pm. However unbeknown to us, the comedy actually started at 2pm, and we had no access to it. It's pretty poor considering we had paid £35 for a weekend ticket and were not being allowed to see 25% of the acts. After a few moans about this via Twitter, the organisers graciously have allowed us in for the Sunday afternoon.

That's most of the moaning over, and none of it is directed at the acts or the individual promoters, as they all seemed to do a sterling job under varying conditions

At The Black Cap, Neal and I started preparing our plan. Some of the acts we agreed we wanted to see and some we would go our separate ways. The first act was up at The Canalside Bar, and it was Adam Bloom. He's someone I've never seen before but Neal spoke highly of. We got there before 7 and got a good seat. I decided to go to the loo and to my horror they had a toilet attendant. Does anyone ever think that's a good idea? I went to the cubicle (as I usually do) and had a wee. I also thought I'd blow my nose but there was no loo roll. Luckily this wasn't a huge disaster for me, but it could be for the next occupant. The man squirted a tiny bit of soap on me, I washed my hands and he gave me a tiny bit of blue roll which instantly became soaked. I had to ask for another bit. And one more. And another to blow my nose on. I told the man there was no loo roll, and he held out the blue roll, saying "I have it". That's top service having every sheet of loo roll (and itchy blue stuff at that) delivered over the top of the cubicle door. I'm really hoping this was just a misunderstanding, but I doubt it, considering it was still empty when I went back  at 1030.

Time moved on and by 730 I grew weary of no acts on stage and decided to show my loyalty to Fat Tuesday by visiting Belushi's. i just managed to catch the awkward and funny ending of Dan Antopolski. Tom Craine was up next, but probably not my cup of tea who was soon followed by a rather camp boy with a big hat and long socks. I think he was Joey Page. He had a few microphone problems but did most of the gig off mic, which was fine from where I was sitting, but probably not so good for the people at the back.

I decided to visit the Wheelbarrow as that was where Nicola and Rob were. The venue was very busy, and it was rather long and narrow. I only stayed a couple of minutes, as all I could hear was terrible Turkish style singing. I went back to Fat Tuesday and caught the next comedian. Again, not my cup of tea. He was a bit shouty and making poor cock jokes, with a slight undercurrent of ironic racism, which to some ears may not have seemed ironic at all. It turns out this was Adam Bloom, so was pretty glad I missed the show at The Canalside Bar. Chris Cox was on next; a comedy mindreader who could be good if he either did less comedy or less magic. For a comedian who does magic I'd stick to Pete Firman, and for a funny magician, Derren Brown.

So far I hadn't seen anyone who had really made me laugh (Tiernan excepted, whose MCing was its usual high standard. It  must be a hard job keeping up the energy for such a long time, especially with people leaving and arriving after (and during) each act.

Joel Dommett

I went to "Ready To Eat" (RTE) to catch Joel Dommett and saw the end of Amadeus Martin. not a name I knew, but definitely someone I would see again. Full of charisma and a very funny guy. I just wish I had seen more of him. Again, people were wrriving and leaving and the compere asked me if I was leaving too. I told him it depended who the next act was. By this time I realised the schedules were not close to accurate so I had no idea who to expect. he introduced another comedy magician to the stage and I headed out for a cigarette. I was speaking to the MC (damn - can't remember his name but he was very very good) and explained I was looking for Joel Dommett. He told me he was on next and lo and behold he turned up to the venue.

Canalside Bar, hoping to see Sean Hughes and Abandoman.

This venue by now was so busy. I quickly located Neal and Nicola and stood beside them. Tiff Stevenson was on and from what I could hear of her she was excellent. Unfortunately there was so much babbling from people all around me, and especially from the people further back who clearly weren't here for the comedy: I guess they just allowed people with Camden Crawl (the music festival that was happening alongside it) tickets in to the venue. This is never a great idea for comedy. Top marks for Tiff for getting through this rather tough gig.

Neal and Nicola decided to move on by this point and I thought I'd stick around to see who was on next. It was Luke Benson, but I had seen him a number of times before at The Fortnight Club, and as it was busy and hot I decided to nip out for a cigarette. I got chatting to the promoter of the venue and she couldn't believe we were not allowed into the comedy events during the day. I spent some time chatting with her, and she was lovely. I just wish I could remember her name. Matt Kirshen came on next. I had a brief chat with him before and he seemed a little unhappy by the talkative crowd. I didn't see him, but I imagine he was no less than excellent, as I've never seen him be anything other than that.

Me and Brendon Burns

I suddenly heard about 100 people with one voice shout "Shut the fuck up" and it seemed the compere Brendon Burns had decided to deal with this lot once and for all. He came back outside and I spoke to him briefly. I asked him for a picture for this blog and he said it was fine and seemed surprised that I didn't want to be in it myself. It was embarrassing, so now you know why I have a picture of me in it. Please forgive me.

Abandoman closed the show. I have seen them once before and they were stunning. Again, tonight was more of the same. A fantastic Irish improvised hip-hop act that you have to see.

I joined Rob, Nicola and Neal back at Belushi's for a farewell drink before we do this all again on Sunday.

In summary:

• Poor organisation
• Great promoters
• Top acts: Amadeus Martin, Joel Dommett, Tiff Stevenson, and Abandoman

Do The Right Thing

Originally rather cheekily billed as coming from the "creators of AIOTM" (soon changed to "production team - ie : bloke that presses record), this pilot podcast is the brainchild of comedian, musician, and Dave Gorman sidekick, Danielle Ward.

Now, I'm not sure what a pilot podcast is. Perhaps it has to go through some sort of podcast authority these days. That's political correctness gone mad! Anyway, as it is a pilot, I'm not sure whether this is going to be released or not. I would assume it will, because all in all it was a rather fun night.

I met up with Simon and Paul at the venue (The Phoenix - surprised?) where they had ordered two huge plates of cheese. We were soon joined by Neal and said hello to comedy stalwarts Rob and Kate. (At their table there was a lady whose trousers were so low when she leaned forward that we could see most of her flowery pants. Unfortunately I was told by my more sensible tablemates that it would be inappropriate to take a picture of this for my blog.

Thom Tuck

Opening tonight was Thom Tuck; one of The Penny Dreadfuls. They are a sketch troupe that I don't know very much about. They had headlined at All Day Edinburgh but it was a long day and I didn't get to see them. Anyway, he performed a preview of his new Edinburgh show for around 40 minutes or so, and was an absolute joy. I do love seeing an act for the first time and being completely blown away by them. His show revolved around his obsession with Disney straight to DVD movies and the fact that virtually no one in the audience had seen them didn't make it any less funny. There were also occasions when he told us of when he had his heart broken... by a girl, as well as a fantastic 3D joke, involving Paul, some special glasses and a lightly tossed ball of paper at his face. Thom was rather surprised later when it turns out Paul had seen as many Lilo and Stitch movies as him.

Michael, Jim Bob, Danielle, Margaret & Dan

After a short break, Danielle introduced the panellists for the podcast. Michael Legge, Jim Bob, (from the fantastic Carter USM),  TV Burp writer Dan Maier, and Margaret Cabourn-Smith. The format was similar to many panel shows, this time the questions were (as you probably guessed from the title) about what the right thing to do is for a given situation. What's the right thing to do when plummeting in a lift? What to do if you get chased by a bear? Audience members contributed their own problems at the start of the show which the panel gave very funny, if slightly unwise advice for, as well as trawling through the problem pages of the tabloids.

Michael, was his usual shouty self, which of course we all like. We know Jim Bob writes extremely witty and pun laden lyrics, and in a live comedy situation he was very very funny indeed. Dan reminded me a little of Andy Hamilton. He didn't say much, but whenever he opened his mouth a fantastic line came out of it.

The show was occasionally interrupted by the occasional shout of "libel!" from Ben, and perhaps too much good natured heckling from the man in the front row who thought I was Kevin Eldon (???) but other than that it all ran rather smoothly shambolic.

This was a fun night. In order to ensure a good audience the price was an astonishing £2.50, but I think most people would be willing to pay twice as much in order for the team to at least cover their costs. Danielle had mentioned this would be unedited, but with a little editing this could be tightened up nicely.

Oh, I had a little chat with Thom afterwards and he is playing at The New Red Lion in Angel on Tuesday 3rd April. I'm planning to be there. Come along.

Fortnight Club

Ronnie Rigsby

Since it's move to The New Red Lion, The Fortnight Club seems to have gone from strength to strength. Gone seem to be the days of gigs being cancelled at The Camden Head and now, every 2 weeks, there always seems to be a healthy crowd.

I had arranged to meet Bob at The King Eddie for a beer first, and we headed down to the venue around 8 and were joined by Rob and Richard. Ronnie Rigsby as ever was our host, celebrating 58 years in show business. Ronnie is an old music hall entertainer who has worked with all the greats, and contains just the right amount of charm and bitterness to be one of the best comperes I have seen on the circuit. His creator, Logan Murray used to work with Jerry Sadowitz, and it really shows. Logan now runs a well respected comedy course that some comedians that were on tonight had attended, which he said later makes him feel rather proud. For me, I don't really mind what acts are on. I'd happily watch Ronnie rant and tell us tales of Princess Margaret and the grinning head of death all night.

Paddy Lennox came on first and was a good opening act. There was a slightly hack routine about the difference between cats and dogs (cats are bastards - dogs are stupid), but this was rescued by the observation that cats like to show their arseholes, and dogs will do anything to hide it.

I noticed on Twitter that Wendy Wason is playing with Tara Flynn tonight (Tuesday) but hadn't heard her name before. Well, she was up next and she was Richard's favourite act of the night. I thought she was pretty excellent too. Definitely someone I'll see again.

Fortnight Club regular Tony Cowards came on next. He is best described as a west country version of Milton Jones or Gary Delaney, and as you can imagine, someone that relies on that many one liners has to write a hell of a lot of them, and on a new material night there's no guarantee they'll all work. They didn't. But when a run of one liners fall flat, that's funny in itself!

We had an interval. A good interval. A solid 3 stars.

Nathan Caton

In the second half we had Nathan Caton opening. I have seen him before, and he has a particular charm that makes him extremely likeable. He tried out a new routine about his West Indian grandmother coming to school to tell his teacher off in front of his class for giving the lactose-intolerant Nathan milk. All good stuff and I'd definitely recommend you see him.

Mark Swan

Irish comedian Mark Swan was on next. This was also his first ever UK gig. He had spoken to Bob during the interval and asked if he minded being used in his act as his old headmaster. Bob had already attracted the attention of all the previous comedians so one more wasn't going to hurt.  So he pointed out his surprise that his old headmaster had turned up and that he was thrilled to see him. There were no other headmaster references till right at the end, and eventually the gag paid off. Oh, he did also show us that if you look at a map of Ireland on it's side that it looks like a little dog.

Finally it was tonight's headline act - Steve Hall. I had seen him a couple of times before. Once, I think as Fat Tuesday and once more recently at Sunday Hullabaloo at The Wilmington Arms. He's a funny guy. His gag about telling people he was in a very low rated show on BBC3 went down well, as the lack of response or recognition of it had proved his point. I think there were about three We Are Klang fans who quietly whooped at that point. Anyway Steve is an excellent comedian and would definitely be worth the admission price alone.

Steve Hall

Unusually for The Fortnight Club, it seemed very male tonight. Usually the performers are pretty evenly split between the sexes, and I think we like it like that. A slight disappointment at the lack of the advertised Holly Walsh, though I think the nature of new material nights mean that the line up can be rather fluid. People can drop out, and of course people can play unannounced. Ronnie mentioned that Lenny Henry had played before, but "never again - his autocue was terrible" - yes this is a true story. Lenny Henry has indeed done little gigs with autocues and a team of writers in attendance.

I'm sidetracked now. Oh yes, the lack of ladies. Mary Bourke wasn't on tonight - another disappointment, but she has been bragging on Facebook that she is working in Bali so we'll forgive her for that. So yes - more female comics next time please if you can please chaps.

Perhaps they've entered so many Funny Women competitions that they can't afford the bus fare.

The most disgusting thing I've ever seen

Stephen Merchant

These were the words of Lost Quattros Cvnts' first ever walk out! Michael announced this to the packed out venue with a certain matter of pride towards the end of the show. To be honest, I've seen worse. I thought the Cvnts were relatively mild. And in any case, what did that lady expect to see. There's a clue in the title. And the quote will look good on the next poster.

So another month has arrived, and it was time to head down to Cvnts once more. Could it top last month's awesome gig here by Al Murray? This month we had the legendary Stephen Merchant to look forward to. I had seen him once before a year or two at The Old Queen's Head (handily situated less than 5 minutes walk from my house) as he was a secret guest at the Comedy Gold night which also featured Richard Herring and he was astounding. Michael Legge has said he was the best comedian he has ever seen when he did the circuit in the days before "The Office".

Also on the bill was Tara Flynn, who I have usually seen as one of the core performers of The London Comedy Improv, but more recently has had some success with her "Big Noise" show. OK, so Michael had announced that it would be Catie Wilkins, but there had been a terrible admin error, and Tara bravely stepped in at the last minute. We have however been promised Catie in May.

My friend Marco had to organise his works night out and asked me for some suggestions. After discounting London Comedy Improv (as it was 2 days before pay day) I told him about this, and he seemed keen. Anyway, he was running late but texted me a description of his workmates for me to say hello to. I think he underestimated the amount of people, as well as my willingness to speak to strangers.

I decided to walk to the venue. It was such a nice day and i had an hour to kill. I remember walking to town a lot last summer and will probably do this more. It gives me the illusion that I'm being healthy. Outside I met Rob, Bob, 2 of Rob's friends, Jack, and we headed downstairs. The queue took a long time to move but once we were in, I found that the always lovely Muki had organised a table for four of us right at the front. Unfortunately (logistically) 2 more people had turned up so we couldn't all fit together. I was trying to work out how to fill these seats the best I could and there was a slight awkwardness as people saw 2 empty seats at the front and kept trying to sit in them, so I decided to grab Jack and Misha from the bar and plonk them beside us.

The gig was sold out tonight. I'm quite sure this is the first time this has happened and they had to turn 40 people away. So a quick tip; if you're coming to LQC, especially when a name comedian is on, get to the venue for 7pm.

LQC came on with air flutes, passing it from one to another as the song went on. It was finally passed to a front row audience member who, judging by the sound of it, clearly had no idea how to play the air flute. Silly person. They then explained that they hadn't written any sketches (which I think turned out to be true!), but decided to plow ahead anyway. Paul and Jeremy's baby characters were both cute and funny as ever, with Jeremy's occasional ear piercing shriek taking Paul by surprise. We were also promised Elizabeth Taylor's "last ever sketch". When this arrived, the Cvnts quickly decided which roles they should play, and as they had never seen it before, excitedly launched into it. However we soon found out that Liz wasn't the Michael Jackson hugging, gay-loving superstar we thought she was, unleashing a torrent of foul language and homophobic abuse, much to The Cvnts embarrassment. I think it was as this point the "digusted" lady left. We got Sean Goldsworthy again, this time reading his classic "homoeroticker", which was equally hilarious and arousing, no matter what your sexual orientation.

Tara Flynn was the first guest, and as usual, her charm shone through. She played four songs: Bjork Song, The Fog From The Film The Fog, Custard, and a fantastic (thought slightly shambolic) Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue parody, backed by Precious Little's James Hingley on guitar, and joined by Michael on vocals. As Michael said later when I asked about this video, it was something "you had to be there" for, but I think it's worth preserving this in people's memories. By the way, sorry about the enormous glass but it was a hot night!

Landfill Hill

Custard

The interval was next. To be honest, I've had better. I felt I didn't make the most of it, and will definitely try harder next month.

It was time to announce the special guest. It wasn't a huge secret so hardly a surprise, but Stephen Merchant got a huge round of applause. He started by talking about when he first became famous, and the various articles he had appeared on, showing us his first ever picture in a national newspaper (he had disappeared out of the top of the frame) and his first interview, where he was called Stephen Mitchell. He also told us about an article after he had been spotted dancing. Unfortunately this was rather spoiled by someone shouting out "albatross". If you're going to heckle, make it funny. Don't just say the punchline to the joke! Twat.

He explained that the purpose of his upcoming tour was to find a wife, and told us all about the difficulties he has in his sex life at the moment, mainly related to his height.

A super night out indeed. Michael gave us clues at the end who the special guest for next month is. I won't repeat them here, mainly because Paul doesn't seem as confident that they'll get him. (Damn - that's a clue - he's a man. Or is he?) Suffice to say that if they manage it, for me, this will be the bext special guest they have ever had (bear in mind they've already had Jason Manford, Al Murray, Richard Herring and now Stephen Merchant)

Buy Tara Flynn's album, and to finish, here is her video clip of "The Fog From The Film The Fog"

Gary Numan - Back To The Phuture

I think I might become a Buddhist. Karma is real. I found this out after giving my Rock Band drum kit to my old pal Matt. He offered me cash, but I honourably declined. He said he would buy me a pint next time I saw him, but he only went and won a competition for 2 guest list tickets to see Gary Numan at The Troxy and gave one to  me.

Now Matt likes to get a good spot as he has filmed some great live footage in the past. He said he would be there around 3pm. Doors didn't open till 6pm and Gary wasn't due on till 10:30. Now I don't trust myself in that situation and would have probably got drunk and leg cramps if I had gone that early. No one else on the bill really interested me, although I wouldn't have minded seeing John Foxx.

As I've said before I've been a big fan of Gary Numan for many years. "Are 'Friends' Electric?" came out in 1979 and I've followed him ever since, seeing him live on a number of occasions. I managed to meet Gary a couple of times: once outside the STV studios in Glasgow when he was there to do an interview and again at the launch party for the "Random" tribute album. He's a nice guy, and remarkably approachable. I met him again at Reading Festival a few years later. I was there with my ex, who had banned me from playing his music when he was round, but at the time he had a local radio show and wanted me to get an interview. I had a chat with his wife who introduced Greg to Gary and they had a lovely little chat, while I sat on the side lines with the wife, seething with jealousy.

Anyway, after a dreadful journey on the Hammersmith & City line I got to the venue. It was a brilliant venue. Much nicer than the likes of the Shepherds Bush Empire that I've seen him more often than any others. My mate and also my flat mate had been to see Morrissey there last year and both of them said the same.

Matt was right down the front so there was no hope of seeing him, but he texted me to say that a couple of people I haven't seen for many years, possibly the 90s were in attendance. I sent Jon a message and managed to meet up with him and Karen and we managed to get a fairly good vantage point front right.

Gary opened with an epic version of Down In The Park, which was the single before AFE that has since been covered by the likes of Foo Fighters and Marilyn Manson. The stage looked amazing with huge LED screens that showed some pretty awesome images, but best appreciated towards the end of the gig when i had moved to the back of the room. A few other older tracks were played, such as That's Too Bad and Zero Bars, and of course AFE.

Some new songs from the upcoming Splinter album were played, such as Captured Underground Noise Transmission and The Fall, and he even through in a new song that he had only written on Monday (Everything Comes Down To This?), which was a brave move. Out of the new songs, this one was probably the weakest and could do with a little more work, although Gary did tell us in advance it was going to be rough!

Gary was energetic as usual, banging his head, thumping the stage with his mic stand and throwing some shapes. He seemed to be having a great time too. Anyway, my hangover from the morning was really catching up with me, and I felt sad to be leaving early, but I was exhausted. All in all, a great night out and even though he has been performing now for 33 years still as fresh as ever.

There was a documentary on Sky Arts about Gary that I couldn't see because I was at the gig. And I don't have Sky, but hopefully I'll be able to track it down somewhere. Any ideas?

Incidentally, Gary is now on Twitter - @numanofficial

I recorded a few videos on my phone which were not too bad, but they suffer from rather poor sound quality. I have put a couple of them after Matt's much better quality movies. Thanks to him for putting these up, and thanks again for the ticket!

1. Crash

2. Films

3. Haunted

4. Everything Comes Down To This

5. Zero Bars (Mr Smith)

6. Pure

7. Halo

8. Down In The Park (poor phone camera quality)

9. Captured Underground Noise Transmission (poor phone camera quality)

A couple more tracks - this time from supilangweilig on youtube:

10. I Die: You Die

11. Are "Friends" Electric?


Update: Thanks to AK on the comments below I have found the Re:Invention documentary. OK, it's recorded off the telly and there are Danish subtitles, but if you want to check it out, it's here

You know the rules sweetheart

The Pub Landlord

Los Quattros Cvnts is one of my favourite comedy nights on the first Wednesday of the month at The Phoenix in central London. I've written about it before here and here. Fun, silly, and extremely friendly. I brought along Cvnts virgins Ken, my big brother, and Priscilla who I work with as well as meeting up with a couple of Cvnts stalwarts - Sir Bob, Graham, Neal and Rob.

After a now traditional bit of grub in the Old Explorer opposite, we headed into the extremely busy Phoenix and lurked by the door. We were called downstairs at 7:15, which was remarkably early, although we soon realised this was so we could stand on the stairs. This was actually lovely as it was a lot cooler and less noisy here.

Thanks to the ever lovely Muki, we got seats right at the front. This worried my brother and I reassured him that it was safe and he wouldn't be picked on! Although having watched an Al Murray DVD earlier in the day, he didn't believe me.

The Cvnts opened with a sketch about the film Inception, but having never seen the film, it went a little over my head. Michael had said before the gig that he was exhausted from his travel to the far east but luckily had to drink a can of Red Bull in this sketch. What a stroke of luck. It's almost like he wrote that in deliberately! The moved on to a job interview sketch where the job being interviewed for was job interviewer. This was pretty intricate involving Dan and Jeremy playing three characters at once. I think I mentioned before about some of The Trap's sketches reminding me of The Two Ronnies, and this was another great ronniesque sketch.

Paul and Jeremy's jaded babies were back, and then it was the turn of the extremely erotic Sean Goldsworthy, with another attempt at "choose your own" erotica where he asked a member of the audience to pick from the options he had written. When I saw Paul do this last month I had assumed he had scripted it so it would always be the same, but he has in fact written pages of it, and his "jump to page 44" instructions are totally genuine.

Jo Neary closed the first half with some character based comedy, my favourite of which was the new comedian who had just finished a comedy course.

Interval time next, and it was so good I can't figure out words to describe it. But quite possibly the best interval ever. Then again, there was that interval in the late '90s I remember so clearly, so scratch that. The interval was alright I guess though.

During the interval, Paul had mentioned it was a shame they didn't have time to do one of the sketches, but luckily they managed to fit it in for the second half. Dan was reading us a story from Fiesta to let us know the literary merit of such porn stories, while Paul was revising his London A-Z. This was a lot of fun with Tourettes style interjections of "Cockfosters" and "Mudchute". Very very silly, and a lot of fun.

Finally it was time for Al Murray to perform. I think everyone in the room was very excited. Usually at LQC the headline act will be someone known in the comedy scene, but it's rare they get a household name. I guess the only person as big as Al that's been on there would be Jason Manford quite a long time ago (He was superb by the way)

Al confirmed to us that he's one of the best comedians around to riff off the audience and the first 40 minutes or so was just him talking to us and obviously giving us some cheeky abuse. He noticed Priscilla's pint, asked her what it is, and told her that it was unacceptable. He picked it up, and to Priscilla's astonishment, downed it! He also cnofiscated a glass of white wine from a lad in the second row. He sent a young lad with emo type hair that he had already nicknamed "Crowboy" to the bar with a tenner out of his own pocket to get a replacement and came back with a white wine for Priscilla, although I ended up sneakily drinking it when Al wasn't looking. After abusing people for their lack of "proper" jobs (such as marketing, publishing, and writing for Torchwood - or Touchcloth as Al named it) he went on to ask us to name any country in the world and he would explain why Britain was better which he managed to do with an impressive knowledge of history!

After the gig we had a brief chat with Mr Murray at the bar, who by now had changed out of his landlord's uniform and was now sporting a rather dapper hat, and I mentioned to him that Priscilla was unaware of "the rules" and he told us that for the landlord, there are no exceptions. Very funny man and a true gent.

Next month the special guest will be a rather tall man who works with "extras" in movies and used to have an "office job. You'd be totally mental not to come. See you there!

Fortnight Club - Relaunched!

The Fortnight Club has been running for around 20 years in various venues near Angel, Islington. It was set up by such comedians as Lee Hurst and Alan Davies in order to try out new material, and is the longest running new material night in London. Until recently, it was situated at The Camden Head in Angel (not Camden). I had visited there a number of times and was always struck by the venues disinterest in the club. There were never any posters, or even an arrow pointing up the stairs, and the staff never seemed to know when the show started or even if there was one.

The first time I came here, the show didn't go ahead as there just wasn't anyone there. Another time, Milton Jones and Tony Law amongst others performed to just two of us. Anyway, a month or two ago, it was announced that The Camden Head were no longer going to do entertainment, so The Fortnight Club were on the move. This, I thought had to be a good thing. I was not keen on that particular pub as either a bar or a venue, and recently a new comedy club in Angel, The New Red Lion Theatre has opened, which to me seemed like an ideal venue.

This was announced on Facebook and I managed to win a couple of free tickets. I took my friend Richard, who had been to this venue before to see Richard Herring, probably because it's less than 20 seconds walk from his house.

Announced on the bill tonight were Fortnight Club stalwarts Mary Bourke, Tony Law and around 7 others. The compere was the fantastic Ronnie Rigsby (aka Logan Murray). As it turned out I was disappointed that there was no Tony Law, and poor Logan was ill, however that was made up for later.

I had two awkward moments before the gig. The first was when I wanted to visit the loo. The only signs to tell me which was which was a picture of a lion on one door, and a panther on the other. I looked from one to the other before confidently striding into the panther door. I quickly left! (Richard pointed out to me later that the panther was probably a lioness.)

Outside I met Nick Helm outside having a cigarette: "It's Nick isn't it?"
"Andy" he said
"Good to see you again Nick"
"No, I'm Andy"

It was getting confusing.

I said "Sorry I thought you were Nick Helm"
"Who's he?"
"A comedian"
"I'm a comedian called Andy Onions"

Well that was the second awkward moment of the evening. I said hello to Mary as she walked in and she mentioned that there was something in her set inspired by me. This was worrying and I wondered which of my idiotic Facebook updates she had seen!

Simon Clayton took over as compere for the evening and introduced our first act, Dylan Bray. I had seen Dylan before and enjoyed his set, especially the joke where he said that he didn't mind if his unborn child was a boy or a girl "just as long as it was straight". He explained that this joke went badly yesterday and made two girls cry and spent some time explaining the thought processes behind it.

Simon introduced a comedian by the name of "Adam Tempest" - I whispered to Richard that he sounded like a superhero. He was a rather tall skinny lad in glasses that didn't quite fit the name but he was rather funny.

Sanderson Jones (and Richard)

Jo Romero was up next but I couldn't take my eyes off her boots. I really don't want to be unkind but I did whisper (very quietly) to Richard that it looked like she had forgotten to take the back half of a pantomime horse off. However, her material soon distracted my attention from the boots! Luke Benson closed the first half with what I think was a very funny set. Unfortunately his Geordie accent was so incredibly strong that I probably only understood about 3 minutes out of the 10 he was on stage for! I have no problems with Sarah Millican or even Ross Noble, but I found that I really had to concentrate hard.

After the rather uneventful break things moved up a notch with Tony Cowards. Not someone I'd seen before, but he rattled off a host of one liners that Milton Jones or Gary Delaney would be proud of.

Ivor Dembina. Not a name I was familiar with, but certainly an unusual performance. Not many words were spoken at first, but he looked round the back of each side of the curtain, before slowly coming back to the microphone and declaring "Well I don't know where Maddie is.", then putting comedy to one side and lecturing the audience about how Live At The Apollo is filmed and why comedy audiences were stupid to go to DVD recordings and pay for the privilege. An interesting, if one sided discussion punctuated by one man standing up, muttering "Fucking shit" and walking out.

Mary Bourke was up next and had come up with some "mum cusses" as she didn't think the ones that the teenage boys on the bus told were good enough, mentioning one that she had heard where one boy claimed his friend's mum had "wooden legs and real feet". At a previous gig she had applauded the wit of the boy, but since I had pointed out on Facebook to her that it was an old Steven Wright joke, derided him for his plagiarism.

Marian Pashley was the penultimate act and she certainly tickled Richard with a quip about her retort to mothers with pushchairs ramming them into the back of her ankles: "Do that again and I'll punch your child in the face."

The Fortnight Club, and I'm sure other new material nights, are great places to see comedians that you haven't seen, or even heard of before, trying out new material. Yes, some of it isn't polished; some of it might not work. but it's a chance to discover people that you'd willingly go to see again. So far at this club I've stumbled across both Tony Law and Mary Bourke and tonight I have found another great comic to add to my list. Sanderson Jones.

Sanderson Jones

He was our headliner tonight and as soon as he came on had the audience in stiches. He remarked on his remarkable resemblance to Jesus and even got Richard to be his lectern (for no apparent reason) to hold his notes. We spoke to him after and in October he is planning a big gig in October at Union Chapel with no tickets advertised in the press, no tickets available on the phone, no tickets available on the internet. The only way to buy a ticket is through him directly as he will be flyering his own show. Now I don't know if I've broken a rule of comedy by telling you this or not, but I didn't sign any contract.

Now, on an unrelated note, if you've read this before Wednesday 2nd March you have no excuse not to go to Los Quattros Cvnts at The Phoenix, Cavendish Square at 8pm to see LQC (The Trap + Michael Legge) with special guests Joanna Neary and AL MURRAY ! For only £7. And they even give you £2 off if you say "Bum" at them on the door!

And go and see Sanderson Jones some time.